Monday, January 25, 2010

I Don't Even Want To Be Alive Anymore | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

I Don't Even Want To Be Alive Anymore | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "You know what? I wish someone would just kill me. I'm serious. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking: 'Oh my God, how can you say such a thing? You can't print that in a newspaper!' But see, I don't care anymore. I've cried my tears. I've battled my demons, and I've lost. It's over. It's all over. The only thing left for me to do now is just go away. Have I even once contributed a single ounce of good to humanity? Put me out of my misery. I wouldn't make a fuss. I wouldn't even humiliate myself by saying goodbye. For the first time in my odious, pitiful life, I'd accept my fate with quiet dignity."